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Middle-aged Spread

A short article on a particular demographic group of rock fans

To have an interest or a pastime is perfectly normal. Most people have them. Some like golf, stamp-collecting or dangerous sports. Others prefer crochet, reading or spending time doting on their children. Whatever it is that you do, it is your own tiny piece of paradise and it is part of the nuts and bolts that makes you, entirely you.

Oddly enough some peoples pastimes are rock music...and for some this involves a band called Rammstein.

Six middle-aged, former east-Germans with a penchant for rolled 'R's, amateur dramatics and fire is the standard view of them. But if you scratch below the surface you'll find a whole lot more.

The fandom that surrounds R+ is a very passionate, noisy and vibrant place. The standard joke about online excursions runs
'What do you call two R+ fans in a chat room'?
'A war.'

Generally that is not too far from the truth. But among the groups of teenage coffin kids and just-become-twenty-something's, the usual demographic focus for rock bands, are a group of fans that seems quite peculiar to only Rammstein.

Middle-aged women.

Having ventured into the realms of all things Rammstein many years ago I was happily assuming that I would be sharing my enjoyment with people only slightly older than my own kids, but no. Everywhere I turned I was tripping over 40 year old women with 'Mutter' and 'Sehnsucht' happily emblazoned across their ever so slightly sagging boobs.

A rather puzzling phenomena. To fall in love with a band as a teenager and then follow them for years with their career ups and downs and finally their perpetual last tour swansongs is a well known happening. Millions do this with The Stones and a host of other 70's and 80's singers and bands.
But R+ arrived in 1995, comparatively late for many of us for some they are their first big musical experience.

'On a dark November evening last year, when I was already 30 years old, I went to the second rock concert in my life. I hadn't known I would be doing that in the morning. Rammstein was playing in Helsinki, but that fact had completely slipped from my memory. I liked their music, had done so for a couple of years, but for me they were still that morning just one band among many.'

So what makes a group of people who should be more likely to take up part-time charity work and flower-arranging devote an extraordinary amount of time and energy (and money) to a band? A band that appeals so deeply that it makes people want to travel 3000 miles for a tiny concert for 300 in a small German rock club?

'On my 25th wedding anniversary I asked my husband could I travel to England to see Rammstein ! I cried when he said that, as he could see how much it meant to me, yes...go ! So in 2002 I traveled the furthest I had ever been, to London and Manchester from Sydney. Purely to see Rammstein.'

The first issue to arise is one that most people would think should be buried. Age; but not just the fans advanced years, more the age of the guys in the band.
None of them are spring chickens anymore, but in a way that makes them 'real' and more appealing. Does Flake have to rub his back for 5 minutes in the morning before he gets out of bed, having pulled a muscle cavorting around stage during 'Mein Teil'? We'll never know but it's a strong possibility!
Rammstein are real men, with real lives. But in having an unusual career they have defied convention on age. Most rock bands fall apart in their late 20's, the members wanting to go their separate ways. Rammstein have been through these issues and are still with us...thankfully.

They are an encouragement to many whose aches and pains are an integral part of their everyday lives. If Paul can bounce around on stage like a 10 year old, so can we! Even if we do regret it the next morning!
They keep us young. They are not sorry to be alive, and neither are we. In fact we rather revel in it.

Youth also seems to be a factor in how people discover R+ too.
'I've got into your music because my son showed me the clip of Amerika.
Thinking back about it's quite funny, because I can remember in an interview one of the members said that it's normal that children will listen to different music, to take distance from their parents so I should have hated the music.'

The rise of the Internet and cable/satellite TV has been an enormous driving force for a German speaking band to succeed in selling CD's all over the world. The young net users who soak up everything around them are often the people who introduced parents to the delights of 'Herzeleid' or 'Reise Reise'. In some families every person from parents down to the youngest child delights in singing along to 'Amerika' in unison!

'When hubbie came home with Herzeleid, he wasn't sure that I would like it. He even waited a day or so to play any of it for me. (Which he constantly reminds me of, "I was a fan for a [b]whole day[/b] before you!" LOL) I was amazed, and instantly hooked. One of his teenage drum students loaned us his collection, the albums and both DVDs.'

'Then Hubby brought home Sehnsucht and Herzeleid, he'd bought them off a bloke at work. At first I couldn't admit that I loved Rammstein's music, it felt out of place, I was still trying to be 'normal'.'

It's the children who have in some cases needed a chaperone to a concert, only to leave afterwards deciding they really prefer Good Charlotte and unaware of the effect the evening's music has had on their accompanying parent. The next time the band is in town, it's the parents who go to the gigs on their own!

Rammstein have often been misunderstood over many issues.

'There were the scary looking bald Hell's Angels and the guy in the row behind me who kept chanting Rudolf Hess, but most of the people looked normal. And all of them became irrelevant when the concert started. It was fire through my veins, singing at the top of my voice, getting lost in the music so that nothing else mattered.'

One is that they are 'anti-women' or a man's rock band. I can't think of a rock band further from this and more than anything they allow a woman a sense of enjoyment by not writing 'guy meets girl, guy fucks girl, guy gives girl finger and runs off to fuck another girl' lyrics.
Having lyrics that don't use the standard text usages when referring to women is very pleasant. I'd always assumed that a 'hoe' was something you used in a garden...apparently this is not so.

The women in R+ songs are very much empowered and often have the upper hand in a relationship. Women who are bad/good and who can be more than a quick fuck; women based in reality.

'But even the Good Girls need an outlet for all the negative emotions, fears and anger they aren't supposed to show. Either they become Bree van der Kamp from Desperate Housewives; or they get creative. I was a Good Girl, and metal was my salvation.'

Physical attraction is something that cannot be ignored with Rammstein. All six of the band members have attractive attributes and there is always at least one who appeals.
It is well known that women in their late 30's and early 40's are at their sexual peak during these years...so you can never have enough 'eye candy', but having said that each band member is very distinctive with their own look and style. No mass produced style guru dressing here, thankfully. They don't try to conform and in a time when every magazine and newspaper has images of the stick thin, cadaverous children selling everything from art to Clarks being able to identify with a man who actually resembles a fully formed human being with all associated lumps and bumps is very refreshing. When the time comes for 'O.F.' to become 'F.O!' some of us will be finally be able to admit to using a corset as something more than just a attractive fashion accessory.

Rammstein have rekindled a childlike passion for music that many have not experienced in a dozen or more years. Holding down a job, paying a mortgage, becoming parents and just having to be a 'grown-up' is awfully boring! Rammstein is a wet-fish slapping you in the face of maturity!

'Unemployed, middle-aged mid-western farm women don't listen to Basso profundo German industrial death metal'

They do now, allowing the listener some salvation or release. And why not? Growing up is overrated.

'I think more than anything I have learnt to give the world the finger. I look at this band and where they started. Can you imagine if they bowed down to everyone in the beginning and followed the mainstream? God help us – we would not have had Rammstein as we know them, we would have had a boy band signing happy songs in German.'

We all spend long hours everyday having to be mommy, wifey, co-worker or carer to many. Some times it's just too much and there are fans that have used R+ as crutch in a hard time. Knowing that at the end of the day they can put on their favorite music and 'chill out'. A few desperately important moments for them to cry through 'Nebel', laugh through 'Küssmich' or chew the hearth rug with abject frustration during 'Zerstören'.

' I had an appointment with my gynecologist. She told me that I will only be able to have children with an artificial insemination.
I caught depression, could not sleep, not eat, lost weight to the border of anorexia, nothing was of interest for me anymore, I could not stand the touch of my husband, burst into tears without any reason. Thoughts of suicide occurred. The only thing that got me through live was Richard and Rammstein.
All this gave me back some energy which I needed to think over my whole life. My private life, my job, the sense of my life, and, maybe the hardest question, how do I see myself in this world and as a woman.'

It's cheaper than alcohol and safer than crack. But the result is the same, that important few moments when you can escape reality and submerge yourself inside your own head to regain your sanity.

'It's really good to know that I'm not standing alone anymore.'

Rammstein also inspire in other ways. The band is based on friendship and the few moments of interaction that we have been privileged to witness at signings, awards and other unscripted public events bear out the strength of these relationships. They really do seem to actually like each other! It is quite conceivable that those friendships over the course of 15+ years have been sorely tested, but they still survived today. Most probably not in the same form that they began, but like any long term relationship they survive with depth, respect and most of all the ability to adapt.
Similar friendships have sprung up amongst the fans of the band too. People, who have traveled vast distances to meet, attend concerts visit Berlin or just hang out with those of a similar mind.

'By the end of the year, I decided that I was going to Germany. It was always just a dream for me, but somehow listening to Rammstein gave me such courage! It sounds silly, even to my ears. But it's true. Something inside me began to change. I suddenly had passion in my life! And it felt good. Like part of that hole inside me - that emptiness - was being filled'.

To have been able to have go from strength to strength over the course of 5 albums attests to the bands ability to produce quality music. Rammstein are not pretty boys but real musicians. They take their time to make a quality product and we are happy to wait. They deal with real issues and Till's ability to make an apparently normal topic into a lyrical conundrum that has more layers than a 'Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte' is well-known.

For mature people who have had to deal with whatever life has thrown at them, being able to listen to great music, that also has intelligent lyrics and strong views is as welcome as conversing with a good friend. Life is not 'fluff', pink bunnies and all undying everlasting love – much of the time life is complete shit and painfully miserable. Till manages to reflect these aspects in almost every song almost to the point of wanting to tear out your heart and cry along with him.

Musically they also inspire respect. Many classical music fans enjoy Rammstein for their quality of work and attention to detail in their musical composition. Compared to many 'younger' bands they are head and shoulders over them in attention to detail and variety of musical expression. Tills voice is also in a class of its own.

'The first aspect that comes to my mind when I talk about Rammstein is Tills voice. It's the kind of voice I want to hear when a man sings. When I listen to the radio and I hear "some mainstream guy" sing, I think of singing boys, not of singing men. That was okay for me as long as I was a teenager, but now, those mainstream-radio teenage voices just turn me down.'

Live they are unsurpassed. With excellent sound at shows (I've never been to a gig with poor sound - unlike other bands), the brilliant stage design, lighting and of course the fire effects at every show are a heart stopping delight. Some might say the rush is a near religious experience. Nothing can compare to R+ live and it's hard to not feel a tinge of regret for the next band you see live after them.

All these components go to make up a band that is quite unique. There is no one like them and unlikely to ever be so. Perhaps it is because older people are more happy in their own skins, recognizing the importance of being yourself that they can empathize with 'doing your own thing' and this helps to relate to a band with its own strong personality?

'Rammstein also made me stronger, I do things now I never dreamt of doing and I love it, it's there powerful attitude, just to do what they like and screw the rest as long as they feel happy doing it. I copied that attitude and I feel happy with it, as long I don't hurt people just to fulfil my own needs.'

'Today I still feel the pink net lace suffocating me, at least in my weaker moments. It surely takes more than listening to a certain kind of music to become a grown-up, complete personality. I still have a bundle of fears to carry on my shoulders: fears of failing. Fears of being not perfect. But I know that I feel strong and complete when I listen to Rammstein music and I know I'm on a good way towards accepting my whole self and not only my "pink" aspects.'

'Music that will always, always make me smile and make me feel better no matter how shit my day was.'

'I know five languages and have a Masters degree in education, After countless interviews, US school language programs absolutely disappearing since our government has made our country afraid of the outside world. No work. Cold house, insanely tired, though sweet husband, resources horribly scarce, sick kids. Never fun, ever. It wasn't available. These six men showed me that the world Was still out there.
I had been set to let my light go out. It almost had.'

'It certainly is hard to explain the phenomena of Rammstein in my life. They entered at a time when I thought I was completely happy. I had no reason to doubt.'

It's extremely uncool to admit to being a fan of anything other than the most popular music of the day. Even more uncool to actually admit that they affect your life in some way or another, the joys of a strait jacket and a couple of grams of lithium await anyone so brave. However older Rammstein fans are perhaps more open, emotionally in touch and willing to confront what is real, right and deal openly about issues affecting themselves and their families. Honesty is nothing to be scared of.
To be able to have a perpetual soundtrack to accompany each day and the knowledge that others feel as you do is a huge help to many.

I would not have been able to write this peice without the honesty of many, who have my sincerest thanks - minx

© April 2006 - Minx